Constipated people don’t give a crap
Horn broken – Watch for finger
So many pedestrians – So little time
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult
Cover me, I’m changing lanes
(Seen upside down an a Jeep)
If you can read this, Please flip me back over
Stop lights timed for 35 mph
Also are timed for 70 mph
Guys, no shirt, no service
Gals, no shirt, no charge
Body by Nautilus, brain by Mattel
Boldly going nowhere
Honk if you have never seen an Uzi fired from a car window.
Grow your own dope – plant a man
All men are animals, some just make better pets
Politicians & diapers both need to be changed often, and for the same reason
Blonde joke
A blonde was on vacation and driving through the Everglades. She desparately wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle on prices” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “Well then, maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes for free.”
The shopkeeper said with a sly, knowing smile, “Little lady, just go and give it a try.”
The blonde headed out toward the swamps, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he pulls over to the side of the road where he spots the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.
Just then, he spots a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning speed, she takes aim, kills the creature, and hauls it onto the slimy bank of the swamp.. Lying nearby, were 7 more of the dead creatures, all lying on their backs.
The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement. The blonde struggled and flipped the gator onto its back. Rolling her eyes heaveward and screaming in great frustration, she shouts out…..
Crap, this one is barefoot, too!
freekin hillarious